Espresso Stories of December!

At that moment he felt more uncomfortable than a Jain in a Purell factory.

‎"Someday," He told her, "I'll paint this wall." It was only now that she realized that at that time he had already known that he would be the paint.

“I’m still going strong,” She said at her final AA meeting, “Because the show goes on. And it isn’t my death scene, yet."

Jesus, Jesus, please, give me a sign!"

And thunder smashed and the clouds billowed above her head as a booming voice shouted out, "I AM A SAGITTARIUS"

Are you sure you don't want a cat?"

"No, I am absolutely horrid with animals,"

"Now come on, I'm certain you aren't that bad,"

"I had a pet rock once. It died."

‎"Look, I used to have a cactus. It died in nineteen days. I'm poisonous, and you'd better get out."

And it's true every time: I come for you but I stay for me.

Don't tell me how far I'll go until you know how far I've come.

‎"You know, you really taught me how to believe in love." "Yeah, well, you really taught me how to believe in reality."

I don't need to break in to see inside; there's only so much in that glass mind.

“You’re leaving the Brazilian summer to go to a Chicago winter?” “ Yeah, but where I’m going is so much warmer"

I’ve never really gotten over anyone, especially myself.

She had 5 hours of testing in front of her and she spent her time preparing in the back of a bar getting wasted.

every sunday they stole their parents liquor cabinets and bathed in the alcohol content, listening to spanish opera all the while

Her mouth mouth said no, and her body continued this notion by punching him in the face repeatedly until he fell to the floor unconscious.

It spent her 5 hours, and in the end all she had to show of it was, "Plants are nice. They are often green. In conclusion, plants."

She named her child Manifest because everyone deserved a destiny.

‎"Is love supposed to hurt?"

"I wouldn't know, I've never been in love. I have been hit by a car however, and that hurt."

‎"I'm leaving." His sudden announcement metaphorically bodyslammed her into the wall, right before her mixed martial-arts training literally bodyslammed him into the wall. Either way, he could've had the decency to stick around and help pick up the pieces.

‎"TANKS!"

"Don't mention it."

She was the kind of girl that walked through the zoo thinking, "We all want to be free"

She spent her life reaching for rainbows, and she died in the arms of a man dressed like a unicorn.

She stayed up till 5 in the morning watching and re-watching The Notebook, and she wondered if she had an addiction to helpless love stories.

‎"It smells like weed in here."

"Weed. Like, as in grass? Like freshly cut grass? Well then, I don't really know because we weren't cutting grass at all."

He's the type of gay who woke up one morning, said, 'Shit, let's try liking dick today!' and never looked back.

He knew he had trouble falling asleep when he tried to imagine sheep jumping over a fence, and they ran head first into the fence instead.

She was 94 and one/eights years old, and her will stated she wanted all of her items and possessions to be put into storage forever, because she was a dick that way.

She signed all her cards XIO; kisses, boners, and hugs.

---Lynn, Patti, Christie, Julie