An Open Apology

I’m gay, but I’m also critical, curious, and scientifically oriented. Being gay isn’t the most important aspect of who I am. Yet, it is the aspect that elicits the most attention from those around me. I wouldn’t want my parents to pay any kind of special attention to me simply because of my orientation--even if that attention was “positive”. Being gay doesn’t make me any more or less of a decent human being; it is simply a preference. It doesn’t say anything about my intelligence, compassion, or values. All it says is that I have romantic interest in the same sex.

To drive the point home, I know many other gay people, and not one of them is the same. There are millions and millions of people in the LGB community, and the only thing that ties us all together is that we are not heterosexual. Each and every one of us has different needs and preferences, different personalities, different everything. It frustrates me to no end that many people will change their opinions about me (or any other person) simply for being gay. And that’s not just aimed to homophobes, but also to people who idealize being gay, who somehow think I’m cooler or more down to earth simply because of my sexual orientation. That’s even more frustrating sometimes, having my romantic preferences seen as some kind of trendy political statement.

What's perhaps more frustrating than anyone else's reactions to this issue, however, is the fact that I'm guilty of these same crimes. "I love gay people", "Gay best friend", and "Oh, yeah, the gay one" are all phrases that I've used in the past year. I've only now come to realize that these types of phrases only add to the small-minded attitudes and stereotypes that harm gay people every day. And for this I can only offer my deepest apologies and my reformation of self. 

I can't do much to change the past, but for now here's a list of gay stereotype breakers:

Not all gay people are the same.

Not all gay people are cool.

Gay people can be racists, sexists and, yes, even homophobes.

Gay males aren't all fabulous.

Gay males don't all have high-pitched voices.

Gay males aren't all sensitive and mild.

Gay females aren't all butch/alternative.

Gay females are not all good kissers/good in bed.

Not all gay people are flamboyant/in your face.

Not all gay people are promiscuous.

Not all gay people will have long-term relationships.

Not all gay people are atheists.

Not all gay people are open-minded. 

And there are so many, so many, oh so so many more. 

My goal right now is just to break the image of all LGBT people being the same/standing for the same thing. 

Even though sexual orientation is important, it says so little about people as actual human beings.